Skip to main content

Balik kampung: Yes or No?



The upcoming Eid-ul-Fitr celebration is a major event which takes many Muslims back to the family home. It is arguably the most important social reunion because it  allows returnees to reconnect either with family members or long-time friends in the old hometown.

Such events are called balik kampung in Malaysia and mudik lebaran in Indonesia. The other opportunities for such gatherings are funerals, religious festivals and ceremonies.

It is usually an emotional reunion between the returnees and their loved ones. After being apart for some time  -- years in the case of some -- they are coming together to honour the first day of Syawal. As they greet each other, their eyes fill with tears. You feel the affection and tenderness.

But life is never neat and tidy. Many of us have had to deal with meddling relatives and/or unresolved family conflicts. Unsurprisingly, the prospect of a family reunion fills some with dread. The interaction may unleash pent-up frustration and the scary scenario is partly to blame for the fear. The solution to the dilemma is to skip gatherings or occasions that bring the family together. Better safe than sorry seems to be the prevailing philosophy.

Research confirms the above. Four out of five people have attended a "miserable" family reunion, according to a study conducted by VitalSmarts and the authors of the New York Times bestseller, Crucial Conversations.

And the findings show that "it's almost inevitable that bad behaviour will surface at your next family gathering".

The three most common complaints are "bad attitudes and grumpy relatives", "cold wars between relatives who dislike and avoid one another" and "conflict between relatives who don't get along".

If you are feeling a little afraid at the thought of joining your relatives in the old hometown for the Eid-ul-Fitr celebration, click here for tips.

Comments

Popular Posts

A spot of rural tranquillity in Ipoh

Your nerves are frayed and you need a dose of pleasingly rustic ambience without having to leave the city. There is such a spot for you, if you are in Ipoh. All you need to do is head for a block of flats called Kinta Heights in Pekan Lama, Ipoh, Perak, which is next to the Kinta River, one of the main branches of the Perak River. Unbelievable, as it may seem, there are several nasi kandar outlets and sundry shops in the vicinity, set in the greenery, with a view and a walking path. I suggest that you have lunch at Ramli Nasi Kandar and after that, take a very short walk to the river bank for your rural retreat. You might be motivated to spend 10 minutes or more in total silence and tranquillity. This is the place I go to again and again. Ramli Nasi Kandar is next to the sundry shop A short bridge to the river bank  You will feel irritated by people putting litter on the ground but I refuse to allow that to distract me. There is a 'Do not litter' notice her

Rumi's gift

You've no idea how hard I've looked for a gift to bring You. Nothing seemed right. What's the point of bringing gold to the gold mine, or water to the Ocean. Everything I came up with was like taking spices to the Orient. It's no good giving my heart and my soul because you already have these. So- I've brought you a mirror. Look at yourself and remember me. Jalaluddin Rumi said it all.   That's her in the mirror. The face is the mirror of the soul.  She sees joy, despair, hope, doubt. This is the end of another year in her life. A time to reflect and express her emotions. Love, forgiveness, healing and trust dominate all kinds of thoughts. She did many things right but she wavered too. Listen to your inner voice. Pressure? Deal with it! Quiet successes inspire her with confidence. Failures provide just the spur she needs. As she looks back on the past year, she is grateful that she got through it. Rumi, thank you for your gift!

Next stop, Sungkai

The locomotive joins the failed train A routine trip to Kuala Lumpur Hospital for a medical check up turned out to be a nightmare for Rabiaa Dani and her husband. Their ticket was for a day train ride to KL Sentral , leaving Ipoh railway station at 8.20am, and returning to Ipoh at night. The couple arrived safely at KL Sentral Station and proceeded to the hospital immediately. Everything went well at the hospital. They even managed to sneak a shopping trip to KLCC for a quick look see before returning to KL Sentral for their 7.40pm train back to Ipoh. The train (9032), like clockwork, departed at the scheduled time. Both Rabiaa and her husband fell asleep about ten minutes after the train had left KL Sentral station. They woke up shortly before hearing the sound of a heavy object hitting something; the train came to a halt soon after. Replacement train at Sungkai station Their nighmare had begun. Rabiaa and her husband later learned that the train had hit a pig