Skip to main content

The warmth of friendship

Old friends. They are individuals you know well and like.

They could be one of your best, close or childhood friends.

What do they mean to you?

I am asking you this question because I had just spent the whole day with an old friend from Singapore. Let us call her Pat.

Pat was one of my colleagues at the Singapore Monitor (now defunct) in the early 1980s. We were junior journalists at the newspaper organisation back then.

We were part of a circle of journalists in Singapore; shared ideas and experiences saw some of us forging bonds of friendship between each other.

When the newspaper folded in the late Eighties, Pat and I went our separate ways.

I returned to Malaysia and resumed my career as a journalist at the newspaper organisation I was attached to before I left to go to Singapore.

Pat fell in love with an English man, got married and relocated to the United Kingdom. She came back to Singapore when her husband passed away several years ago.

Initially, we kept in touch but distance and preoccupation with our own lives disrupted the connection between us. There was a point when there was no contact at all. That lasted for several years.

We reconnected a few months ago when I found her through Facebook and hence his post.

We arranged to meet this morning in Petaling Jaya; she was here with her two children to celebrate her uncle's 80th birthday on Saturday.

There was no awkwardness in our meeting. We greeted each other like the old friends that we are and chatted away from the word go.

The time spent with Pat and her children was one of the most satisfying moments of my life.

We talked about our lives now, work, men, clothes, Singapore, the past, present and future, and the mistakes we have made, among others.

What does Pat's friendship  mean to me?

I will rely on C. S. Lewis to answer my question.

He said that "friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art ... it has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival."

Survival. The word evokes  images of difficulties and our battle to overcome them.

Indeed, the idiom "the survival of the fittest" encapsulates the rationale behind our fight to continue to exist on Earth.

And all other issues fade into insignificance compared with the struggle for survival.

The friends in our midst make life bearable. They are there to give us a prod, if we have given up.

Haven't you craved for a word of encouragement from a good friend? Do you know a certain someone who is always there with a sympathetic ear? When was the last time someone gave you lots of tender loving care?

Old friends in particular reassure us that the big bad world can sometimes be a nice place to live in. They keep alive our past which is necessary to understand the present and future.

Their belief in us can change the way we see ourselves and our problems.

It is possible to fix our broken hearts, move towards that promotion, go after the job we want and attain spiritual perfection.

A word of thanks to Pat and all my good friends: I am extremely grateful for the warmth of your friendship.

Comments

Soo Ling said…
so nice. I agree completely.

Popular Posts

Are you ready for Sri Lanka?

SRI LANKA wants YOU! Yes, YOU ... the traveller. And the longer you stay on the island, the better it would be for the country's fledgling tourism industry. The end of the 30-year-old civil war in the country in May 2009 resulted in more tourist arrivals to Serendib (the origin of the word "serendipity"), as the Arabs called it in the ancient past.When the Portuguese arrived in 1505, they named it Ceilao , which was transliterated into English as Ceylon. Tourism officials predict high numbers of visitors from abroad, notably India and China, in the future. Tourist arrivals reportedly "grew by an impressive 50 per cent or an increase to 160,000 from 106,000 visitors in the first quarter of 2010, compared to 2009". The downside of rising/increased tourism has generated debate as this website indicates. The concerns are valid. The rights of locals and proper care of the environment must be high on the list of priorities when tourism officials plan for t

Happy Father's Day

June is a significant month for fathers and those who have acted as father figures: stepfathers, uncles, grandfathers, big brothers, teachers and mentors. It is the month when some countries including Malaysia celebrate Father's Day. As American poet Anne Sexton put it: "It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was." My own father, who was a major influence in my life when I was growing up in Ipoh, Perak, Malaysia, passed away a long time ago. Since then there has been one major father figure in my life: my mentor, who is also my uncle, and he has helped me through difficult times. Fathers teach by example. You learn important values from them and you acquire some of their tastes for things. It could be anything: a love for English literature, words and books, among others. Sometimes you did not agree with their viewpoints but realised later that they were right about many things. As a child, growing up in a hometown known for its laid-back wa

Dealing with death of a loved one

Today marks the end of Rabiaa's mourning period. She had completed four months and 10 days or 130 days of grieving, the stipulated period for expressing sorrow for Muslim widows.  The death of her husband on Dec 30, 2020 was expected  but it still came as a huge shock to her. It was too sudden, she felt. Yet  observers would not agree. Her husband became bedridden in mid-November after a collision between his big bike and a car which had come from the opposite direction after taking an illegal turn.  In addition to being bedridden, Anwar, lost his voice which was the direct result of the  brain injury he had suffered after the accident. He was diagnosed with traumatic brain injury. How does Rabiaa feel now? The pain is bearable but the memories remain as vivid as ever. She is still unwilling to clear up all of her husband's things and some items remain in their original positions as before he became bound to the bed. His belongings connect Rabiaa to Anwar and she basks in the w