Give peace a chance

Dealing with death of a loved one

Today marks the end of Rabiaa's mourning period. She had completed four months and 10 days or 130 days of grieving, the stipulated period for expressing sorrow for Muslim widows. The death of her husband on Dec 30, 2020 was expected but it still came as a huge shock to her. It was too sudden, she felt. Yet observers would not agree. Her husband became bedridden in mid-November after a collision between his big bike and a car which had come from the opposite direction after taking an illegal turn. In addition to being bedridden, Anwar, lost his voice which was the direct result of the brain injury he had suffered after the accident. He was diagnosed with traumatic brain injury. How does Rabiaa feel now? The pain is bearable but the memories remain as vivid as ever. She is still unwilling to clear up all of her husband's things and some items remain in their original positions as before he became bound to the bed. His belongings connect Rabiaa to Anwar and sh...

Happy Father's Day

June is a significant month for fathers and those who have acted as father figures: stepfathers, uncles, grandfathers, big brothers, teachers and mentors. It is the month when some countries including Malaysia celebrate Father's Day. As American poet Anne Sexton put it: "It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was." My own father, who was a major influence in my life when I was growing up in Ipoh, Perak, Malaysia, passed away a long time ago. Since then there has been one major father figure in my life: my mentor, who is also my uncle, and he has helped me through difficult times. Fathers teach by example. You learn important values from them and you acquire some of their tastes for things. It could be anything: a love for English literature, words and books, among others. Sometimes you did not agree with their viewpoints but realised later that they were right about many things. As a child, growing up in a hometown known for its laid-back wa...

A spot of rural tranquillity in Ipoh

Your nerves are frayed and you need a dose of pleasingly rustic ambience without having to leave the city. There is such a spot for you, if you are in Ipoh. All you need to do is head for a block of flats called Kinta Heights in Pekan Lama, Ipoh, Perak, which is next to the Kinta River, one of the main branches of the Perak River. Unbelievable, as it may seem, there are several nasi kandar outlets and sundry shops in the vicinity, set in the greenery, with a view and a walking path. I suggest that you have lunch at Ramli Nasi Kandar and after that, take a very short walk to the river bank for your rural retreat. You might be motivated to spend 10 minutes or more in total silence and tranquillity. This is the place I go to again and again. Ramli Nasi Kandar is next to the sundry shop A short bridge to the river bank You will feel irritated by people putting litter on the ground but I refuse to allow that to distract me. There is a 'Do not litter' notice her...

a fleeting stay ...

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