Skip to main content

Happy Father's Day


June is a significant month for fathers and those who have acted as father figures: stepfathers, uncles, grandfathers, big brothers, teachers and mentors.
It is the month when some countries including Malaysia celebrate Father's Day.
As American poet Anne Sexton put it: "It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was."
My own father, who was a major influence in my life when I was growing up in Ipoh, Perak, Malaysia, passed away a long time ago.
Since then there has been one major father figure in my life: my mentor, who is also my uncle, and he has helped me through difficult times.
Fathers teach by example.
You learn important values from them and you acquire some of their tastes for things.
It could be anything: a love for English literature, words and books, among others.
Sometimes you did not agree with their viewpoints but realised later that they were right about many things.
As a child, growing up in a hometown known for its laid-back ways, my father seemed like a walking encyclopedia: he knew everything, for example, the spelling of difficult words and why prayers were important.
I didn't always agree with him but thought it wise to remain silent.
Then I moved out of our family home to start life at university in another town.
New faces, new surroundings and lots of excitement.
I thought I owned the world until trouble hit me and my father came to my rescue.
That would happen several times in my life as a young adult.
Do Fathers know best?
I would say mine did, and with the benefit of hindsight I now see where I went wrong.
These days I find myself recalling his pearls of wisdom of which there are numerous.
New York writer Margaret Truman expressed it in the following manner: "It's only when you grow up, and step back from him, or leave him for your own career and your own home -- it's only then that you can measure his greatness and fully appreciate it. Pride reinforces love."
That is so true!
Like Mother's Day, the celebration honouring mothers, Father's Day is an excellent way to bring family members together.
It is a time to reaffirm our commitment to our family and to reflect on what it means to us.
Some say that families are under threat.
They cite longer working hours, absent parents and divorce as harmful influences that threaten the traditional family.
The United Nations admits that the changing social structure and an ageing population pose a challenge to both families and governments.
Other major trends that affect families worldwide are migration and HIV/AIDS.
Also, consumerism and globalisation have turned luxuries into necessities, forcing parents to work harder for the money because raising children in the consumer culture takes effort.
They built up successful careers but at the expense of neglecting their children.
Not many of us are really free of these issues.
If you are, then count your blessings and examine your own relationship with your family members with a view to improving it.
Do we spend enough time with our families? How often do we visit close relatives who stay in another county? Do we bother to check on older relatives who are ill?
These are uncomfortable questions but they must be asked if only to appease our conscience.
As we gather round our fathers one evening this month to honour them let us also ponder on the family as an institution and why we need to maintain it.
Happy Father's Day!

Comments

A. Nymous said…
I love this post. It has given me some ideas for my article.
FAEZAH ISMAIL said…
thank you so much. i look forward to reading your post.
Anonymous said…
I was blessed with a father who never stopped me from following my heart and allowed me a lot of space to try different things during my childhood days. I can never thank him enough for all the sacrifices he made so that i was never deprived all my life.

O.C. Yeoh

Popular Posts

Dealing with death of a loved one

Today marks the end of Rabiaa's mourning period. She had completed four months and 10 days or 130 days of grieving, the stipulated period for expressing sorrow for Muslim widows.  The death of her husband on Dec 30, 2020 was expected  but it still came as a huge shock to her. It was too sudden, she felt. Yet  observers would not agree. Her husband became bedridden in mid-November after a collision between his big bike and a car which had come from the opposite direction after taking an illegal turn.  In addition to being bedridden, Anwar, lost his voice which was the direct result of the  brain injury he had suffered after the accident. He was diagnosed with traumatic brain injury. How does Rabiaa feel now? The pain is bearable but the memories remain as vivid as ever. She is still unwilling to clear up all of her husband's things and some items remain in their original positions as before he became bound to the bed. His belongings connect Rabiaa to Anwar and sh...

Buah Tarap: A chance encounter

You learn something new everyday. My friend Alina is very fond of repeating this. And I agree with her. Today I tasted the Buah Tarap (Tarap Fruit) which is said to be unique to Sabah/Borneo. My colleagues and I arrived in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah this afternoon; we are here for the RHB New Straits Times Spell-It-Right Challenge which will take place at the Suria Mall over the weekend. After checking into the Beverly Hotel we walked to a nearby eatery for a spot of tea. It was then that I chanced upon the Buah Tarap and began snapping away. My colleague, who had eaten the fruit in Bandung, Indonesia, was excited to see it. He bought one for us to try. The stall vendor split the fruit into two and we bit into its flesh. Everyone liked it but describing its flavour remains a challenge. The fruit, which looks like nangka (jackfruit) or chempedak,  has an unusual combination of tastes: it is sweet but not as sweet as the jackfruit nor as chunky. Words fail me. It feels so lig...

Next stop, Sungkai

The locomotive joins the failed train A routine trip to Kuala Lumpur Hospital for a medical check up turned out to be a nightmare for Rabiaa Dani and her husband. Their ticket was for a day train ride to KL Sentral , leaving Ipoh railway station at 8.20am, and returning to Ipoh at night. The couple arrived safely at KL Sentral Station and proceeded to the hospital immediately. Everything went well at the hospital. They even managed to sneak a shopping trip to KLCC for a quick look see before returning to KL Sentral for their 7.40pm train back to Ipoh. The train (9032), like clockwork, departed at the scheduled time. Both Rabiaa and her husband fell asleep about ten minutes after the train had left KL Sentral station. They woke up shortly before hearing the sound of a heavy object hitting something; the train came to a halt soon after. Replacement train at Sungkai station Their nighmare had begun. Rabiaa and her husband later learned that the train had hit a pig...